nope.no one understand

i always being so repellant

i dunno what actually im traumatized of

is it being in a close relationship with smone?

deep down my heart, i want to hav dat kinda relationship.

cus i wnna share it all

i neva let myself hav comfort with someone

im always so suspicious

alienated.

i always choose a way that diverged from others

i choose to hate chicken

i choose to deny my feelings

i choose to let myself being a stiff person

and

this is all already embedded in me long ago

smtimes i would feel empty

my new friends here seems to somehow dislike me

or is it me being unsecure

it is bcus i dont talk their language

i dont see their view

and i dont walk their lane

they r just being a group of typical girly girls

but smhow i cant accept it

cus im too annoyed

i want at least smone

to

rescue me

and

bring me to a comfort zone where i can be myself again

a friend here where can replace my besties back then 

besties,i really miss u guys

the pearl of my life

Why so desperate

I would say that i've been lonely n isolated for quite this few weeks..

I'm quite sick of getting involved in my girl classmate's conversation here.

It has always been talkg bout boys boys boys

And they would whine n describe how passionate their feelgs

Stalking, scanning,

Is it satisfying?

And do you hav to tell me all bout it?

I won't bother bout listening to it at all

There r too much things out there r more interestg

I am disgusted to some extend

Seeing how they hypocritically behave in front of guys

Y don't u just CHILL?

Not like the world would end if u don't do coupling

I'm a very cynical, which is a superior observant person

I hate what I'm viewing

And

Do I have to behave like them so that I can blend in and to be accepted?

Hell NO

I already have enough frens out there and I don't care if I'm lonely

The world is still wide for me to discover

If only that time comes for me to hav that feelgs, than I'll accept it

But I'll be not wastg my time thinking bout it throughout the day