change

from a helpless child,to adolescence,then come the adulthood
these r major changes in stages of life
tell me which one is the most difficult?
im in one of these stage
too many came through me
this mix feeling smtimes drive me crazy
too mny coinsidence, too many things to learn,too many things to hndle,too many of things..
i want a change dat gonna make me a betta prson
smtimes,ppl force me to change the way they wnted
i know its for my own good,
but
im not prepared
im getting ready
i want the good change in me to remain in myself
ppl may underestimate and misinterpret me
u dont noe who am i
i got hell lot of scret u dont know
i hate it when ppl say things dat they don really noe
dont condemn ppl if u dont look @ urself,which r actually da sme
keep the peace

useless abilitites

god create us with somethg special
we r special,
just he added more for some prson he desire for some reason
some prson were born beautiful,
some a brilliant thinker,
some has its own creative side,
some has super strength,which myb useful in sports
too many to describe
u may have some of the gift from god
but,
did u wisely use it?
let say,
u r beautiful,
did u disgrace others who may not own an asset like u?
many of ppl i met,
they r beautiful,,attract the attention of others
but,
they r self lover
they just love themself too much.boasting n admiring their beauty so much
but the real beauty?do they hav it?myb just on the outlook
myb a beauty,,but an asshole
then,come the brilliant thinker
did u share knowldge n help others to get better understndg as well?
strength,
did u help the nannies to carry their heavy bags myb?
i know that evry human has its own special abilities,
but god does not restricted u to continue living by developing ur abilities only
the gift is just a shortcut (like a shortcut) for u,
to be develop others as well
y not bein beautiful,smart,strong,creative,warm hearted....n so on
will power is the key
dats y u r given time to improve..
;)
im not condemng bout others,
im referring to myself as well
i just want u to realise it too as i've realized this
our life in this world is so short
death can come to us in any time
even when u r young
...
i miss fatini,sorry

when the time of my life,i lose someone

the name,
fatini aqilah fadzil
evrytime i think bout this name,tears overflowin my eyes
too many words too say here
cus no one knows that we share too many memories together
but
i'll tell u a little piece of me and her
i met her for the first time during our first day as a highschool teenagers
3 years we had been into the same class
i dont expect we r goin to be close frens
cus she doesnt seem to fit my retarded epitome,
for the 3 years i had only mess up her life ( a bit)
i would tease her with some names she hated it,
i would drank all her tea that she packed to school,
but,
when i did all that,
she only smile back at me sayin 'ish,ko ni taw minum air aq ja,nti ko kne blnja aq'
then,a beautiful coinsidence continues for the next two years
here when i shared great moments with her,
we get into same boarding school
and even more,
we get to sleep side by side in the same dorm
smtimes,i'll woke her up,and smtimes she woke me up to school
we would race to the shower together and compete who done it faster
then,we walked to surau together,whining bout how tiring it is to walk that far just to go for prayer,hha..(pdhl leh sodorm ja)
we breakfast together,
she always thrilled by nasi impit and kuah kcg
whenever we felt so lazy,we would skip evening prep
if we hav to go,we would go back dorm really early (around 4.15) ,,to sodorm,hha
;I
i always tease how many her food was,,
until some of it she had to keep it in a large box in the luggage room
'eh tini,ko bwk byk2 ni ko nk bkak kdai runcit ka kt igop?'
'tini,laparrr..bg aq skit mknn ko yg byk tu'
during weekend,she would woke up really late,
when i studied in a corner of the dorm, i would look at her sleeping face for a moment
looking at her make me calm (and also sleepy again)
i remember when we had a long ride to get back to taiping
'aq bnci ah naik bus lompat ni'
'pkul 1 ptg btolak,pkul 9 mlm bru smpai rumah,,apekejadd'
we ran through the rain together
sing together
....
this is the most precious moment i had with her
;(
when,
i used to sit with her evry evening b4 the night prep or during weekend at the white bench
looking at the sky,the series of mountains
smtimes we would smile to see the rainbow
' aq rasalah, bukit kt c2 msti bt larut kn,,apalah kwn2 aq kt taiping tgh wat ni'
'tini,ko dh fkir ko nk amik course ape nti?'
'tini,,aq tringin mkn domino,,blnja aq'
'tini,,nti ble aq dpt lesen kreta,aq bwk ko tour mesia lps spm'
'tini,,,'
tinii
...
we talked bout future
hmmm
soo many to tell u,tini
i love u fatini
i miss u
i never realise how close we were
why when u still alive,i just cant admit u my besfren,u like a sister to me
now that u r not here,
it crush me
im crushed,im sad
so heartbreak
i had so many plan to do with u after u finished plkn
but,god has a plan 4 u
fatini,the prson that is embedded in my heart,always
too many moments that i just couldnt tell u guys,,its so precious
al fatihah
to fatini aqilah fadzil
i love u